


Honeymoon

by UberNerd



Category: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, WALL-E (2008)
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairing, Energy Vampire, F/M, robot porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:45:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7607872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UberNerd/pseuds/UberNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of stories about Nos-4-a2 and Eve Two on their honeymoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Touchdown

“We’re cleared. Touchdown in five minutes,” Lightyear announced as he walked onto the main deck. It looked especially small with all of Team Lightyear sitting around the long table and Nos-4-a2 and Two pressed against the window, ogling the planet below. The couple had been drawn into the presence of the rangers by the violent shaking of the ship as it entered the atmosphere.  
  
“Finally!” XR threw his cards on the table and hopped out of his seat, treading to where Nos and Two stood at the window. Booster put his hand down as well to look at the approaching surface of Earth.  
  
Two was beside herself, wringing Nos’s hand in both of hers. It had been years since she’d seen her home planet, though she wasn’t quite going home yet ‒ first came the honeymoon. Nos gazed down at what would be his home for the rest of his days, then at his wife. He smiled and tried to squeeze her hands back, though she was crushing his fingers so hard he could hardly move them.  
  
“You have all your things?” he asked.  
  
“They’re in our room. I’ll go get them!” she replied, relinquishing his hand and bouncing to their sleeping quarters. He watched her go with a soft look in his optics before turning back to the window.  
  
“Wow, this place looks just like a dirty Capital Planet,” Mira muttered. The atmosphere was dusty and cluttered despite the clean-up parties that had been working on clearing the debris, and the land only had patches of green where the Humans were settled.  
  
“They make up for it with their sweet robotics,” XR smirked, “I can’t wait to meet the locals!”  
  
Nos did his best to swallow a distasteful scowl, privately willing that anyone the little robot approached would shoot him down.  
  
“Hey, look at all that green!” Booster pointed out to the west at a patch of jungle on the growing coastline. It was just south of the equator, a blob of verdant land glittering with civilization.  
  
“That’s where the resort is, out there by the water. The town is a little farther inland,” Buzz announced while reading something off his wrist communicator.  
  
Nos-4-a2 turned and bent down to inspect his bag one last time before touchdown. He had a few clokes, a digital card that held their funds, and the few personal items he’d collected (a.k.a. the few things he hadn’t stolen) over the years. Two had an entire storage container full of her personal belongings in Axiom, and when Nos thought about it, he realized that all he had was the ship and its contents, which was practically bare after gutting it of all his old villain tech.  
  
A small voice in the depths of his thought processors reminded him that he was originally villain tech himself, but he pushed it away.  
  
“Get ready for landing,” the Captain warned everyone as they began to descend.  
  
Nos took his bag and put it down by the hatch of the ship, ready to get away from their escort team.  
  
“Eve, do you need any help?” he called out in the direction of their room.  
  
“No,” her muffled voice replied, “Be there in a minute!”  
  
Anticipation surged through the Energy Vampire’s circuits. This was it. The ship landed with hardly a bump, and as the hatch hissed open, he looked out at the place where his new life was beginning.  
  
The flood of light was enough to make him squint, scattered amongst all the dust the landing had stirred into the air. As the engines went quiet, a symphony of natural sounds filled the air. Wind rustled leaves, some unseen water source babbled cheerily to itself, and a menagerie completely unfamiliar to him chattered, sang, and whooped. The foliage in their immediate surroundings sported vibrant green leaves and a whole spectrum of flowers, and the snatches of sky that appeared through the dirty clouds were a clear blue.  
  
Nos-4-a2 felt completely out of place.  
  
Suddenly, a blue streak barreled past that sent the Energy Vampire reeling. He saw his wife’s bag tumbling down the ramp, and right in front of him, her cerulean cloak fluttered down to Earth. Gaping, Nos watched as Two’s aerodynamic frame shot into the sky. She made a wide loop before dipping down, picking up enough speed to break the sound barrier and shooting into the cloud layer. Nos, who was supporting himself against the hatchway, could just barely hear a cry of sheer joy.  
  
“What was that?” Lightyear exclaimed in alarm, the rest of his team following as he ran outside. They all traced Nos-4-a2’s line of sight to the sky, where Two’s pearly metal glittered in the sunlight whenever she dipped into view, streaming dusty clouds behind her.  
  
“I believe Eve just went supersonic,” Nos mumbled.  
  
They all watched her for a while as she twirled and dove and had an all around wonderful time. Her clear, bright laugh occasionally drifted to where they all stood. The estranged feeling that had gripped Nos-4-a2 shifted to the back of his mind at the sight of Two, finally free.  _Free..._  he’d done it. Mission accomplished. Everything he’d worked for in the last year had completely fallen apart, but by some crazy fluke, it had all worked out. Two was safe... and, though he couldn’t quite comprehend it, he was too.  
  
Nos was brought out of his thoughts when XR wheeled into his line of sight, picking up Two’s cape. “Talk about ‘flying free.’”  
  
Snatching the clothing from the ranger’s grasp, Nos snapped, “She knows that her cloak would cause too much drag for her to hit those speeds.”  
  
“What’s she doing up there, anyway?” Booster asked, warily eyeing the two robots.  
  
Nos turned his attention back to the sky. Two was spinning so fast that her arms appeared to be a propeller. “I have no idea,” he hummed.  
  
Until the ecstatic probe returned, Nos decided to get their bags ready for when the shuttle came. A great rumbling filled the air as the Star Command space cruiser escorting their ship landed at a loading area not far from theirs. He took their bags to the mouth of the road and started straightening out Two’s cape, beating of the dust out of it and folding it over his arm.  
  
“This is quite an odd planet,” Lightyear commented conversationally to Nos.  
  
This prompted Nos to observe an exercise he’d had to do many times over the past week. He didn’t know why Lightyear was so determined to make conversation. Being around the rangers at all, regardless of the circumstances, was nothing less than uncomfortable, and small talk did anything but improve the situation. In order to put on a good face, Nos worked a deep breath through his ventilation system and repeated a mantra in his head:  _Just a few more hours. Just a few more hours until you never have to see him again, you’ll be alone with Eve for the rest of your life, you can stand humoring him for just a few more hours._  
  
Nos pretended to be interested. “Out of all the planets in the galaxy, this one is odd?” Dammit. He still sounded condescending.  
  
“Well, sure, there are weirder places around, but that whole deal with the seven hundred year gap in their history is something else.”  
  
“Hm. I suppose you’re referring to the gap in the Humans’ history.”  
  
“...What else?” the ranger asked.  
  
Nos looked to the sky again, catching a glimpse of Two before she passed out of sight.  
  
“The Humans might have been halted in their evolution, but their robots had all those centuries to learn on their own. Now they’re working together to make up for the lost time, even after the war,” Nos-4-a2 explained, thinking back to all the late nights Two had spent talking about her home.  
  
Just as the ranger opened his mouth to respond, a small metal creature, her speed decreased to considerably less than that of sound, slammed into Nos-4-a2’s side and knocked her cape to the ground again. Her arms clamped around his waist in a crushing hug, her head only coming up to the center of his chest. Two’s sleek metal was dappled with moisture from the clouds and warm with the recent release of energy and exposure to sunlight.  
  
“Good heavens, Eve!” Nos laughed. Lightyear smirked and skirted away, having no quarrels with dropping their conversation. The rest of the rangers regrouped back near the ship.  
  
Nos-4-a2 returned Two’s embrace and twirled her around. She was smiling so hard that her blue eyeforms practically disappeared into the blackness of her visor. Anyone else would say she was laughing, but Nos knew better: despite her lack of ability to produce tears, she was crying with joy.  
  
“Nossy, Nossy, we’re home!” she sobbed. A smile crept onto the Energy Vampire’s face.  
  
“We’re home,” he echoed. He lifted her up and pressed his forehead against hers, everything else falling away. She shook in a crazy combination of crying and laughter that reverberated through his frame. He could get used to this. The sense of belonging he felt with Two was almost more than he could handle, so he closed his optic and soaked her in, overwhelmed by the sheer elation pouring from her processors. She held him so tight, he felt like he was floating away, higher and higher... and higher? Nos opened his optic to see the ground falling away below him. He looked down at Two to meet a giddy smile. She was supporting his entire weight at this point as he hung limp in shock.  
  
“Eve ‒ Eve, wait, we can’t ‒ we can’t leave the rangers yet, we haven’t ‒ !”  
  
“Who cares?” she sang, “Fly with me! Fly with me,  _we’re free!_ ”  
  
She loosened her grip enough that he began to slip, causing his wings to reflexively spring out, crackling with amber light. Her hands slipped to his wrists before he could react, dragging him into a spin. They were hundreds of feet above the ground, the horizon glittering blue to the west, a silvery building standing at the end of the road beneath them, and the jungle sprawling away wild and green. Wind buffeted them from every side as Two let go, spinning around him faster than he could follow. Nos couldn’t help himself. He let go, feeling the rush of the wind against his metal and an unsuppressable laugh rising in his speakers. When was the last time he took a joy flight? Had he ever even felt joy before Two? She spun around and reached under his wings to lift him by his underarms, kissing the back of his neck before looping around over his head and falling toward the ground, her arms spread wide. Nos followed suit, grinning like an idiot, catching Two whenever he could.  
  
She never stopped singing,  _we’re free, we’re home, we’re free, we’re home..._  The weight of the universe lifted from his shoulders. He’d never had a home before.


	2. Shower

The sun set red through the Earth’s thick atmosphere, painting warmth into the seaside landscape and making Nos-4-a2’s red metal glow. He looked out on the ocean from the balcony of his hotel room, watching the ships’ lights blink to life like stars in an extended sky, tracing over the events of the day in his mind. Two weeks into their honeymoon, everything still felt new.

Every morning, Two leaped out of bed before Nos could catch her and got to work planning another day of exploration. The hotel’s garden, the zoo, the museum, the town, the beach, and never a dull moment. This day had been spent on a whale watching cruise.

Two was dead set on showing Nos everything that Earth had to offer, and as much as he loved having fun with her, nothing could compare to spending time alone with his wife. _Wife_. He fingered his ring and smiled. If it were up to him, they would spend every moment in the privacy of their suite... but what was she doing inside during the sunset?

As Nos-4-a2 turned toward the sliding glass doors, the shower turned on in the bathroom.

“Eve, is that you?”

“Of course, who else?” she laughed.

He hovered into the bathroom where Two fluttered about, setting out towels and testing the water. Her sleek frame shone without any clothes to cover it, faint lights spinning beneath the surface, her movements still the most breathtakingly graceful thing he’d ever seen.

“What are you up to, little dove?”

Two turned toward him and beamed, hovering into his arms and lacing hers around his shoulders. “I’m taking a shower, and I thought that _maybe_ ,” she reached up to kiss him, drawing a happy little hum from his speakers, “you’d like to join me?”

Nos-4-a2 slid his hands over her sides, delighting in the smooth texture and the way she moved beneath his touch. “I don’t know, love, there is one other thing I can think of that I’d rather do... Besides, haven’t we had enough water today?”

“ _Salt_ water, Nossy,” Two pointed out, “We’re sticky from the sea spray.”

“Well, sure, but we can’t just wipe ourselves off real quick?” his fingers traced loving curves down her back, “The sunset is beautiful... wouldn’t you rather go back to the room, get in the freshly made bed with everything steeped in the ight of the dying sun, the curtains above us gently stirring in the evening breeze, and just... enjoy whatever comes next?”

“Wow, Nos, you sure use florid language when you want sex.”

“Wha ‒ _Eve_!” Nos scoffed, “You damn tease!”

Two laughed and gave him another kiss. “You don’t have to get in if you don’t want to, I just thought it might be nice. I know I enjoy it, but I won’t take too long, alright?”

“Thanks, love, but I guess there’s no harm in giving it a try ‒ it’s just that I’ve never seen the appeal of drenching yourself in water.”

Two’s eyeforms opened like full moons. “Nos-4-a2. Have you _never_ taken a shower before?”

“Why would I have?” he shrugged.

Two grabbed his shoulders and pushed herself back to hold him at arm’s length, staring straight into his optics.

“...Er, is something the matter?”

Two narrowed her eyeforms and leaned close once again. “This is no longer an option. You’ll get into this shower, mister, or I’ll send you to bed without dessert.”

“I see you’re not giving me a choice, missus, but I think we both know that’s the emptiest threat you’ve ever made.”

“Don’t be rude,” Two simpered. She pressed her visor to his lips and undid his cape, lingering just long enough to promise that she had every intention of giving him his dessert. Before she turned to open the glass door, her eyeforms wandered thoughtfully over the red and gold contours of his metal. She waved him into the shower, her emotional wavelength becoming a bit more urgent.

After a moment of pause, Nos gave in and hovered through the stream of water. It was warm... Two had developed a liking for heating things up just enough to make their processing blurry. He gave her a look as she followed him in, centered herself under the faucet, and closed the door.

The shower was roomy, detailed with blue mosaic tiles, and had a seat extending from the wall opposite the door. On it were a couple washcloths and some vials of the hotel’s complimentary soap. Despite there being ample room for them to stand apart, Two pressed close to Nos so they could share the stream of water.

Despite everything in him that thought taking a shower to was an excessive way to clean, Nos found that it wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. Unlike rain, which obscured his vision and plastered his cape to his metal, the warm water felt almost soothing against his bare frame. If that didn’t change his mind, seeing Two definitely did: with an indulgent smile in her eyeforms, she tilted her frame into the water, sending rivulets pouring down her sleek, contoured body. If a thin mist hadn’t already been rising around them, Nos-4-a2 wondered whether he would be steaming. He diverted extra power to his liquid coolant system to keep himself from panting.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Two hummed, a smile shining through the droplets on her visor.

He had to think for a while before he responded. “...It’s the absolute worst.”

“ _What_? You half-watt!” she scoffed.

“What _else_ would you expect? I can’t even kiss you in this damn water box!”

Two laughed and shook her head. “Quarter-watt!”

Nos took her in his arms with a mock-growl, pretending to bite the rim of her head port while she shrieked with laughter. “Who’s worse, the quarter-watt or the one who _married_ him?”

“Nos, s-stop!” she sputtered, buckling with laughter when he ran his hands up her sides.

“It’s not my fault you’re so delicious!” he snickered, leaning her against the wall beneath the faucet. At such an angle, the water hit the back of his neck, some of it trickling forward over his shoulders and dripping onto her pearly metal. Even dotted with water and blurred by mist, her eyeforms pierced him to his core with a look that could redeem the most depraved of souls. He wiped the water from her visor, adoring the way she squinted as his thumb passed over her eyeforms. Her hands wandered up his sides, finding the golden wires on his waist. His ventilation system kicked in, seemingly for no other purpose than letting his breath hitch.

Two shuddered at the deepening lust in his optics.

“Um, Nos, I... I wanted to show... um...”

“Yes, little one?” he whispered.

“I-I wanted to share a romantic shower with you, but I think I kind of overdid it. We’ve probably washed the salt off by now, right?”

Nos grabbed the shower handle and shut the water off, a grin spreading across his face.


	3. Experimental

He liked shutting the curtains at night. Their hotel room could be completely darkened, leaving their bodies as the only sources of light. He could perfectly see the designs spinning just beneath her surface ‒ lazy waltzing while she relaxed, an accelerando as he traced them with his tongue, their erratic fluctuation when he played with her pleasure coding.

He could hardly get enough of it. The curves of her frame, seemingly simple, were so nuanced. He mapped them with his hands, feeling again and again to commit them to memory. He soaked in the sensation of her own fingers on his chest, his back, his waist, the curious pressure, the way her magnetic fields tensed with pleasure. They’d only been married for a matter of days, but he couldn’t imagine ever being satisfied. So much to learn and all the time in the world.

Every time interfacing felt completely different than the last. Her artificial nervous system became familiar, like each time he sank into her coding, he returned home. Still, so much was new: he focused mainly on her reward modules, and while they allowed for different levels of intensity and combinations, he knew there was another world waiting for him if he borrowed some other sensations.

He had to start somewhere. Carefully selecting a pleasure code he knew she favored and honing in on a dull pain sensor, he fired both off at the same time. With a heated cry, her body jolted up against his, her hands scrabbling at his back, the lights under her metal flickering back and forth in a captivating sequence. The rebound pulled a groan from his own speakers, but that wasn’t enough to reassure him.

“Was that alright?”

She pulled his lips down against her visor, sending his favorite light of all arcing across his tongue.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.”


	4. Nervous Energy

Two rested her hands on the balcony’s railing, her eyeforms slowly tracing the paths that wound through the hotel garden so many stories below. They were deserted, blanketed in the hotel’s shadow as the sun rose on the other side of the building. The early sea fog clung to the beach and made the horizon look much closer than it usually did.

“...This is certainly a first,” Nos-4-a2’s accent slipped through the morning air. Two looked over her shoulder as he hovered out of their hotel room, obviously fresh out of bed. “You never wake up before I do.”

A smile flickered across Two’s eyeforms. Nos fit his arm around her back and put his free hand next to hers on the railing. Judging by the glazed look in his optics, he hadn’t gotten anything to eat yet, but she didn’t want to turn his bleary smile away. Instead, she leaned into his cool metal and looked back out at the view.

“So what has you up and about so early?”

“...I was too nervous to stay offline.”

“Nervous?” he leaned down so his cheek nestled against the top of her head, resting more of his weight against her. “I may be useless before I take any power in the morning, but you feel more excited than nervous to me.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s both.”

“Because we’re leaving tomorrow?”

Two’s hands tightened on the rail. When she thought about it, he probably felt the same. “Yes.”

“Why do you think you’re nervous?”

Two _knew_ why she was nervous. After the First War ended and One came home, miraculously alive, what had Two done? Did she stay and help rebuild, hanging on to the tiny piece of family that she had left? No. Not three months passed before she left Earth on a poorly veiled excuse to escape the planet that reminded her of her other, dead sisters. Then, after years without contact, Two finally called to say she had been kidnapped by a galactic criminal who was actually turning out to be a pretty okay guy once he dropped the theatrical villain bit. It also turned out that Two had missed the birth of her niece. Then, with no warning, she called home to announce her engagement and that she and Nos were headed to Earth. Two wouldn’t have felt bad about that if they hadn’t spontaneously decided to have Quinn marry them while they were still days away from Earth, changing their destination from Axiom to the seaside Bahani Resort for their month-long honeymoon. How had any of it seemed like a good idea? Why hadn’t they just waited?

But the drowsy Energy Vampire draped against her was all the answer she needed. She loved him too much to wait. Besides, once they landed on Earth, the first thing Two did was call the Earthclasses. She spoke to One almost every day now, and they’d been able to talk about a lot of their problems. Whenever One seemed particularly understanding, Two knew she had Wall.E to thank, and the thought of being a part of a family that included them and Nos was enough to get her through her guilt.

“...That’s a lot to have on your mind at once.”

“Oh! Sorry,” Two blinked out of her thoughts. She forgot that Nos had asked her a question. “I just... want them to love you as much as I do.”

Nos laughed a little. “I don’t think that would be very appropriate.”

“No, come on!” Two smirked, “You know what I mean.”

“Yes,” Nos hummed, “but I don’t see why you’re still so twisted up about it. They’ve already invited us to stay until our house is built ‒ ”

“Nos, be honest. Even One thinks it’s a mansion, and she hasn’t even seen any of the plans yet.”

“Will you stop saying that like I’m building us a castle? Is it so bad that land is cheap and I want to pamper you like the queen you are?”

Two smiled, leaning into the well-worn argument. “I’m still convinced you’ve been programmed with some sort of ancient vampire aesthetic.”

“For the last time, we’re building off the foundation of a pre-existing structure, so our choices were somewhat limited. High, narrow windows, vaulted ceilings, inlaid stone bricks, chandeliers and sconces ‒ you agreed to as many of those ideas as I did!”

Two couldn’t help laughing. She turned her head to kiss his chin, putting her hand on top of his so she could finger his wedding ring. “You’re right. You know, I’m sure they’re going to love you ‒ Wall.E is the kindest robot you’ll ever meet, and I’ve bragged about you to One so much that Willow is the only one you’ll have to impress, _Uncle_ Nossy.”

Nos-4-a2 grumbled, “Now you’re really making me nervous.”

Two moved to kiss him again, but this time he captured it with his lips, savoring the taste of her static spark.

“Let’s go back inside. I’m famished, and we have a lot to do before we leave tomorrow,” Nos pointed out. Two nodded, though she didn’t feel like packing. The way Nos kept his arm around her middle on their way inside made her think he didn’t either, but whatever the day held in store, she was just happy to face it with him.


End file.
